THE BAY AREA TECH WORKERS UNION DEMANDS FAIR WAGES FROM TECHNOLOGY COMPANIES
Have you seen all the billboards around San Francisco with nearly naked tech worker kids on them? Isn’t it nice that we can finally acknowledge that tech workers are just so much meat for the VC machine.
As a tech CEO recently told his peers at a venture capital luncheon:
“These kids have no brains, too many tattoos, and wild eyed wonder. This is the perfect storm for workforce exploitation. A new teenage tech idiot shows up every hour in the Bay Area. Layoff the ones that figure out what is up, and just grab a nubile new one….”
This has led to this demand:
TECH MANAGEMENT MAKES $250.00 to $2900.00 PE HOUR OFF OF OUR BACKS.
TECH WORKERS DESERVE A $75.00 PER HOUR MINIMUM WAGE TO FAIRLY COMPENSATE THEM FOR THE PROFITS THEY PROVIDE TO GOOGLE, TWITTER, FACEBOOK, REDDIT AND THE REST!
The Silicon Valley Venture Capitalists destroyed Silicon Valley with their Joe Lonsdale rapes, Ellen Pao misogyny, Stanford frat rapes, multiple murders-by-hookers, sex palaces, Angelgate collusion, Anti-poaching conspiracies, Solyndra’s, and other niceties, so they moved the whole operation to San Francisco. They hoped that nobody would notice, but everybody did.
San Francisco is now swimming in the coolest bearded 20-something millennials, dot.com billboards, insane rents, no parking… you would think it was 1999 again.
If we, your loyal bearded hipsters, are going to continue to make your games, social networks and domestic spying tools. You can’t abuse us anymore. You must pay us a fair portion of what you are making off of us.
UNIONIZE YOUR TECH COMPANY.
JOIN TODAY. SPREAD THE WORD!